Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I want a musical about memes.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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