dude i'm inner monologue high
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
you are never too drunk for berry picking
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
