it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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