I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
