Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
