Pants 0. Shit 1.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
