My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
