Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
