Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
