ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
