To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
