U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize