I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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