Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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