I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
