piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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