Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize