the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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