I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
