I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
