Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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