Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
