babies were throwing up all over the place
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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