I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
