He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
