Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
