the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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