i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
