WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
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