I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
