ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
