apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
