okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
