I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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