Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
