I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Randomize
