You're so nebulous sometimes
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
