I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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