I just made out with a guy for $7.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
