That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I party with great urgency now.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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