I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
