so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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