Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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