We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize