my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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