you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
