Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
