I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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