I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
