she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
