You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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