we're chasing vodka with high fives
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
