Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
