the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery