what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
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i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
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On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"