Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...

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(734): Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception... http://tfl.nu/2wqa

Replies (2) Good night (1594) Bad night (1987)
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(509): View more from Washington

That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis

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(509): That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis http://tfl.nu/pim3

Replies (90) Good night (1074) Bad night (4778)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married

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(423): today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married http://tfl.nu/xv8o

Replies (68) Good night (13339) Bad night (1496)
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(353): View more from

I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing

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(353): I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing http://tfl.nu/a43r

Replies (41) Good night (5594) Bad night (1793)
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(305): View more from Florida

It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.

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(305): It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me. http://tfl.nu/n11o

Replies (46) Good night (2336) Bad night (8045)
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(406): View more from Montana

He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage

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(406): He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage http://tfl.nu/22pw

Replies (8) Good night (3681) Bad night (873)
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(206): View more from Washington

I think I have vodka in my lungs

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(206): I think I have vodka in my lungs http://tfl.nu/shpx

Replies (4) Good night (1924) Bad night (1082)
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(937): View more from Ohio

Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?

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(937): Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower? http://tfl.nu/53j7

Replies (4) Good night (1552) Bad night (469)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.

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(604): As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck. http://tfl.nu/89l5

Replies (14) Good night (2523) Bad night (697)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?

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(202): you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday? http://tfl.nu/psur

Replies (6) Good night (3305) Bad night (951)
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(785): View more from Kansas

The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.

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(785): The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked. http://tfl.nu/4i2t

Replies (6) Good night (1711) Bad night (484)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.

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(402): Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created. http://tfl.nu/pozr

Replies (4) Good night (552) Bad night (1074)
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(719): View more from Colorado

I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.

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(719): I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared. http://tfl.nu/v8f7

Replies (8) Good night (1532) Bad night (418)
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(417): View more from Missouri

Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead

(1-417): View more from Missouri

Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.

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(417): Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead (1-417): Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp. http://tfl.nu/xy3p

Replies (7) Good night (632) Bad night (225)
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(613): View more from Ontario

He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....

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(613): He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad.... http://tfl.nu/p0ok

Replies (3) Good night (266) Bad night (701)

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