dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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