Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
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its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
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I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?