new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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