I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.