lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Are we still banned from the library?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
