I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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