no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
