Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
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My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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