cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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